Through the Looking Glass: The Radical Healing of Being Seen

 Yesterday, I stepped into a ceremony with my mentor in She Who Paints with Light, and it unfolded like a psychedelic journey—without any substances, just the raw, potent medicine of reflection. We did mirror work, but not the kind where you glance at your reflection and move on. I was naked in a fully mirrored bathroom, where every wall echoed my image back to me from infinite angles. It wasn’t just about seeing my face; it was about confronting every layer of myself.

In that mirrored room, I processed my birth, Theo’s birth, my pregnancy, romantic rejection, and body shame. All these threads wove together into the fabric of my identity, pulling me through the threshold of what it means to be seen.

And here’s the truth: being seen is about so much more than how others perceive you. It starts with how you perceive yourself.

The Mirror as a Portal

When we talk about personal branding or photography, there’s often this surface-level narrative: how to present yourself, how to look confident, how to craft an image. But the deeper work—the soul work—isn’t in the posing or the aesthetic. It’s in the intimacy you cultivate with yourself.

Looking in the mirror isn’t just about checking your appearance. It’s about witnessing yourself in your wholeness: the light, the shadow, the imperfections, the beauty, the grief, the joy. It’s about standing in front of your reflection without flinching, without turning away from the parts of yourself you’ve been taught to hide.

Self-portraits? They’re not acts of vanity. They’re radical tools for self-healing. Each click of the shutter is a declaration: I am here. I am worthy of being seen.

Congruence and Self-Acceptance

We often think being seen is about how others perceive us—but at its core, it’s about congruence: the alignment between who you are internally and how you present yourself to the world.

Congruence isn’t about perfection or always having it together. It’s about living in integrity with yourself. It means that the person you see in the mirror—the one with all their experiences, emotions, and complexities—matches the person you show to the world. When there’s a gap between the two, when we hide parts of ourselves out of shame or fear of judgment, it creates discomfort, a dissonance that can feel like we’re living a double life.

In the mirrored room, I wasn’t just seeing my reflection—I was confronting all the places where I wasn’t fully congruent. The parts of me I’d hidden away: body shame, romantic rejection, the grief and messiness of pregnancy and birth. These were parts I had tucked into the shadows, believing they made me less worthy of being seen. But congruence requires embracing those shadows, not just the polished, presentable pieces.

Being seen starts with seeing yourself fully. It’s about recognising and accepting every part of your story—the light and the dark—and letting those truths be visible, first to yourself, and then to others. It’s in this alignment that we find peace, not because everything is perfect, but because we’re no longer at war with ourselves.

Congruence is the quiet confidence that comes from knowing you’re living in your truth. It’s not about how others perceive you; it’s about how you perceive you. And when that perception is grounded in authenticity, worthiness follows naturally—not as something you have to force, but as something you simply are.

The Intimacy of Being Seen

To truly be seen requires a level of intimacy with yourself that most of us are never taught to cultivate. It means sitting with your discomfort, your insecurities, your fears—and not turning away. It means looking in the mirror and saying, I see you, even when it’s hard.

We live in a world that labels self-reflection as self-indulgence, that calls self-portraits (selfies) vain, that dismisses looking in the mirror as frivolous. But these acts? They are revolutionary. They are the foundation of deep, transformative healing.

When you can see yourself fully—when you can embrace your story, your body, your truth—you create space for others to do the same. You become a mirror for the people around you, reflecting back their own worthiness and wholeness.

Moving Towards Wholeness

In that mirrored room, I wasn’t just facing my reflection. I was facing my past, my fears, my desires. I was peeling back the layers of how I’ve been conditioned to see myself—and choosing to see with new eyes.

Being seen isn’t just about stepping into the light. It’s about standing in the shadow and saying, This, too, is part of me. It’s about honouring every piece of your journey and allowing them to shape you, not define you.

So the next time you look in the mirror, don’t just glance and move on. Stay. Witness. And remember: being seen starts with you.

In creativity and connection,

Rosie 🦚