Navigating Modern Relationships with Free Love Principles

Free Love: From Psychedelic 60s Counterculture to a Modern Philosophy of Connection

What if love didn’t have to follow rules? What if it could be limitless, abundant, and defined only by the people experiencing it?

The phrase “free love” often evokes images of the 1960s—a time of psychedelic exploration, countercultural rebellion, and radical rethinking of societal norms. It was a call for liberation, not only from the confines of monogamy but from the rigid expectations society imposed on relationships, love, and intimacy.

Yet, beyond its historical connotations, free love is also a timeless and deeply resonant concept. For me, it’s not just a relic of the past but a guiding philosophy that shapes how I approach relationships, connection, and the way I live my life today.

The Roots of Free Love: A 1960s Revolution

The free love movement of the 1960s was more than a countercultural buzzword—it was a bold act of rebellion, a collective rising against the rigid norms that told people how love, marriage, and relationships should look. At its heart, free love was about liberation: freeing love from the cages of tradition, obligation, and control, and allowing it to grow into something expansive, authentic, and abundant.

In the years before the 1960s, love was tightly packaged and sold as a singular, traditional ideal: one person, one marriage, one way to exist in partnership. To step outside of these expectations was to invite judgment, shame, or even rejection.

But the world was changing. A generation began questioning everything—why women were expected to marry for financial security, why marriage was the only acceptable container for love and sex, and why love itself was treated as something limited, exclusive, and finite. Free love said: What if love didn’t need to follow rules?

This wasn’t about rejecting commitment or care—it was about choosing relationships based on mutual respect, shared values, and genuine connection, not societal pressure or tradition. 

The Role of Psychedelics

And then there were the psychedelics. LSD, psilocybin, and other mind-expanding substances didn’t just fuel the counterculture—they shaped it. Psychedelic experiences opened a portal to new ways of thinking about connection, compassion, and love.

These experiences weren’t happening in isolation. They were part of a larger cultural shift that questioned the rigid frameworks of the time—be it in relationships, gender roles, or civil rights. Psychedelics didn’t just expand personal consciousness; they also inspired collective action, fueling movements that reimagined the very structures of society.

Many who explored psychedelics during this time spoke of a profound sense of interconnectedness, the dissolving of ego, and an overwhelming feeling of love that transcended the individual. It was no longer about “me” and “you”—it was about us, a collective human experience.For the free love movement, this deepened the belief that love didn’t need to be confined. It could be as big, boundless, and multifaceted as we allowed it to be. 

Free love wasn’t just about relationships—it was tied to the cultural shifts happening all around it. Feminism demanded autonomy for women, challenging the idea that marriage or monogamy were the only paths to fulfilment. The civil rights movement called for equality, compassion, and freedom from oppressive systems. Anti-war activists spoke of peace and love as forces for change. Free love fit into all of this, not just as an idea but as a way of reimagining what love could do—not as possession, but as liberation. 

Missteps and Misunderstandings

But with such bold ideas came challenges. The concept of free love was as vulnerable to misunderstanding as it was revolutionary. While many embraced its ideals of liberation and connection, others misinterpreted or misused its principles, highlighting the complexities of redefining love in a society still deeply rooted in traditional norms.

Of course, like any revolution, the free love movement wasn’t without its flaws.  Some dismissed it as reckless or naive, mistaking its message for simple hedonism. Others misused the idea of “free love” to bypass respect, responsibility, and consent—undermining the very principles it stood for.

But at its core, free love wasn’t about chaos. It was about freedom—the freedom to love honestly, to connect deeply, and to build relationships that nourished everyone involved.

These missteps, however, were not just setbacks—they were reflections of the growing pains that come with questioning established systems. The movement’s flaws revealed the importance of grounding even the most expansive ideas in mutual respect and intentionality, lessons that continue to shape the way we think about love today.

A Philosophy That Endures

Free love wasn’t just a moment in history. It planted seeds that continue to grow. The way we talk about non-monogamy, polyamory, and relationship diversity today owes much to the free love movement. It cracked open the idea that love had to look a certain way—and once that idea was broken, it couldn’t be put back together.

The essence of free love—authenticity, connection, and liberation—still speaks to those of us searching for ways to love and live beyond the confines of tradition. It’s not just about romantic love; it’s about love in all its forms: platonic, familial, creative, and universal.

When I look back at the history of free love, I see a story not just of rebellion but of possibility—a story that dares us to imagine a world where love is limitless, where relationships are chosen freely, and where connection is celebrated in all its beautiful, expansive forms.

Evolving the Concept for Today

Fast forward to now, and my embodiment of free love feels less like a political rebellion and more like a personal ethos. While I appreciate the movement’s roots, I’ve shaped the concept to reflect my values of intentionality, connection, and authenticity.

For me, free love means embracing love in all its forms—platonic, romantic, creative, and familial. It’s about honouring the unique connections I have with others without feeling the need to force them into predefined categories. Love, in this sense, is expansive and multifaceted, not confined by labels or societal expectations.

Living Free Love in My Life

In my life, free love shows up in the way I navigate relationships and connections. My partnership with Jordan, for instance, is a perfect example. We’re not romantically or sexually involved, but our bond is deeply loving, rooted in respect, shared purpose, and a commitment to raising Theo in a stable and supportive family unit.

Romantic connections, when they happen, are welcome additions to my life—not replacements or fixes. I approach them with the understanding that no one person can meet all my needs, just as I cannot meet all of someone else’s. This perspective liberates me from the pressure to find a “perfect partner” and instead allows me to embrace relationships as opportunities for growth, connection, and joy.

At its core, free love means allowing my relationships to evolve naturally and authentically. It’s about giving love the freedom to exist in ways that feel true to those involved, rather than trying to fit it into a box.

Free Love as a Value System

Beyond personal relationships, free love informs how I approach life more broadly. It’s a lens through which I see the world—a belief in interconnectedness, compassion, and the importance of honouring the unique ways we relate to one another.

It means celebrating the love between friends, the beauty of creative collaboration, and the profound bond of co-parenting. It means recognising that love is not a finite resource but an abundant force that grows the more we share it.

Free love, for me, is about living with an open heart. It’s about fostering connection, being present, and allowing love to shape my life in ways that are expansive and transformative.

A Modern Take on a Timeless Idea

While the free love movement of the 1960s was revolutionary in its time, my interpretation of it feels quieter, more personal, and deeply intentional. It’s not about breaking rules for the sake of it but about creating space for love to flourish authentically, free from fear, control, or rigid expectations.

The world often tells us how love should look—who we should love, how we should love, and what that love should mean. Free love invites us to reject those narratives and instead embrace love as a deeply personal, endlessly expansive force.

What’s in a Name? Why I Choose ‘Free Love’

When it comes to describing my relationship style, I’ve often felt that the language available doesn’t quite fit. Terms like ethical non-monogamy (ENM), polyamory, and even relationship anarchy have their own meanings and nuances, but none fully capture the way I approach love, connection, and relationships. For me, the phrase free love feels like home—rooted in a sense of openness, expansiveness, and intentionality that aligns perfectly with my values.

Free Love Doesn’t Mean Not Monogamy

One of the most common misconceptions about free love is that it’s synonymous with rejecting monogamy outright, but for me, that’s not the case. Free love isn’t about ruling out monogamy or any particular relationship structure—it’s about embracing the freedom to connect authentically and intentionally, wherever that leads.

The beauty of free love lies in its openness. It doesn’t place rules or expectations on how relationships should look. Instead, it invites us to explore love in all its forms—romantic, platonic, creative, familial—and to honour those connections for what they truly are, without needing to fit them into predefined boxes.

In my life, that means being open to what feels right in the moment. It’s not about seeking non-monogamy, but about giving myself and others the freedom to create relationships that align with our deepest values and needs, whether that looks like monogamy, polyamory, or something entirely unique.

Why Not ENM or Polyamory?

While terms like ethical non-monogamy and polyamory resonate with many, they don’t fully reflect my perspective. ENM often emphasises the ethical framework of navigating multiple romantic or sexual relationships, and polyamory focuses on the ability to love multiple people simultaneously. Both are beautiful in their own right, but they feel a little too narrow for me.

My approach to love isn’t about managing multiple partnerships or adhering to a specific philosophy—it’s about the openness of the heart. It’s about allowing love to be what it is, without constraints or definitions. Free love encapsulates that psychedelic, expansive sense of connection that goes beyond rules or categories.

The Psychedelic Roots of Free Love

What draws me most to the term free love is its connection to the open-heartedness of the 1960s psychedelic movement. This isn’t about adopting a retro aesthetic—it’s about honouring a philosophy that feels deeply aligned with my way of being in the world.

Psychedelics have long been associated with dissolving boundaries, expanding consciousness, and fostering a profound sense of interconnectedness. The idea of free love born out of that era wasn’t just about rejecting societal norms; it was about embracing the abundance of love that exists when we remove fear, ego, and control.

That same expansive, psychedelic energy is what I feel when I use the term today. For me, free love is about approaching relationships with curiosity, compassion, and an open heart. It’s about letting love flourish in its own way, without trying to contain or define it.

Relationship Anarchy?

Relationship anarchy is a philosophy that invites us to completely rethink how we approach love, connection, and relationships. At its core, it’s about rejecting the societal rules and hierarchies that tell us how relationships should look—romantic love at the top, friendships somewhere below, and everything else as secondary or less important. Instead, it encourages us to approach every connection with intention, authenticity, and a sense of equality.

For those who resonate with relationship anarchy, there are no predefined scripts or expectations. A romantic relationship doesn’t automatically take priority over a friendship. A creative partnership can be just as fulfilling and meaningful as a marriage. Each relationship is built on its own terms, shaped by the unique dynamic between the people involved.

There are definite parallels between free love and relationship anarchy, both encourage us to forge connections based on authenticity rather than external rules. But while relationship anarchy can sometimes feel rooted in rebellion, free love feels more rooted in expansion and abundance for me. It’s less about dismantling systems and more about celebrating the endless possibilities of love when we approach it with intention and an open heart.

Why Free Love Is Perfect for Me

At its core, free love feels like the truest reflection of who I am and how I want to live. It’s a term that carries with it a sense of lightness, joy, and possibility. It’s not about rejecting anything; it’s about saying yes to love in all its forms.

It’s also a reminder to keep my heart open, to approach relationships with kindness and intention, and to honour the unique beauty of each connection. Whether that means deep platonic bonds, creative partnerships, or romantic relationships, free love offers me the freedom to let those connections grow in their own authentic ways.

Free love, to me, is more than a relationship style—it’s a way of being. It’s about living with an open heart, embracing the psychedelic energy of abundance and connection, and celebrating the many ways love shows up in life. It’s the perfect name for the life and values I hold dear.

What does free love mean to you? Whether you see it as a radical philosophy or simply a way of being, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Let’s celebrate the many ways love shows up in our lives and the freedom to let it grow.

Making Free Love Work: Boundaries, Communication, and Right Relationship

Free love, for all its openness and expansiveness, thrives on structure—not rigid rules, but the kind of thoughtful boundaries, conscious communication, and deep respect that allow love to flourish in a way that feels right for everyone involved. For me, this journey has been about living intentionally, staying rooted in love, and constantly evolving the way I navigate relationships to honour myself, Jordan, and the unique family unit we’ve built together.

Boundaries as a Foundation

When people hear “free love,” they sometimes assume it means a life free of boundaries—but the opposite is true. Boundaries are essential for ensuring that every person in a relationship feels respected, understood, and secure. In my life, boundaries help me stay in right relationship with others, keeping the connections I value healthy, intentional, and filled with love.

Earlier this year, I started dating for the first time in a while. As with any new venture, it brought up questions about how to navigate this alongside my dynamic with Jordan and our family. The first thing I did was ask Jordan how much he wanted to know. Did he want details? General updates? Or nothing at all? From a place of love and respect, I wanted to ensure he felt safe and supported, even as I explored this new chapter of my life.

Conscious Communication and Support

Jordan, as always, was incredibly supportive. He encouraged me to explore, but we also committed to regular check-ins. These weren’t just about me sharing my experiences—they were about holding space for any emotions or fears that arose for him. For Jordan, dating brought up natural concerns about what it might mean for our family unit and its priority in my life.

We talked openly and honestly about these feelings, and through those conversations, we reaffirmed what we both already knew: that our family unit is the foundation of everything. For me, dating has to add to the love and stability we’ve built—not detract from it.

This clarity didn’t just help Jordan feel secure; it also grounded me. It’s a reminder that while I’m open to love in all its forms, Theo, Jordan, and the life we’ve created together remain my top priorities.

Transparency with Others

Conscious communication doesn’t stop at the people already in my life—it extends to anyone new I bring into my world. I’ve been upfront about my situation on my dating profile, and when I connected with someone, I made sure they understood my dynamic with Jordan.

This transparency is crucial. It allows people to make informed decisions about their involvement and ensures that everyone’s on the same page. Free love doesn’t mean anything goes—it means everyone involved feels respected, valued, and empowered to choose what works for them.

Evolving Together

One of the things I value most about my life with Jordan is how fluid and adaptable it is. Our way of living is constantly evolving to meet everyone’s needs. Right now, living together works beautifully for us. Theo is two, and he needs a lot of my time and energy. I own our home, and it provides the stability we need as a family.

But we also honour each other’s dreams and individual journeys. Jordan has dreams of van life adventures in the future, and we’ve already envisioned how that might work. There’s a space in our garden for him to park his van when he’s back, a home base where he can always return.

This adaptability isn’t just about logistics; it’s a reflection of how we honor each other’s evolving needs and dreams, while always keeping love and respect at the centre of our choices. For me, this is what free love looks like in practice—making space for growth and change while staying deeply connected to what truly matters.

Our dynamic isn’t static; it’s alive, growing and shifting as we do. This fluidity allows us to embrace the unexpected, to adjust as life unfolds, and to ensure that the life we’re building together continues to serve us all. It’s a constant dance of connection, collaboration, and care, and it’s one of the things I cherish most about our unique family.

Where I’m At Now

Right now, my focus has shifted inward. My energy is channeling deeply into my creative pursuits and my family, and dating simply isn’t really on my radar at the moment. As I immerse myself in the process of birthing my book—a project that feels like a true extension of my soul—I know I need all of my focus and intention to flow into my creative work and motherhood.

In many ways, the expansiveness I seek in relationships mirrors the creative energy I’m channeling into my book. Just as free love is about embracing connection in all its forms, my creative work is about exploring the boundless potential of ideas and expression. Both require openness, curiosity, and a willingness to step into the unknown.

That said, I remain deeply open to the possibilities the future holds. I’m excited for the future where I get to explore the full spectrum of human connection—from soul-deep friendships to new creative partnerships and beyond. For me, love in all its forms is expansive, and I look forward to seeing how it continues to unfold in its own time.

For now, I’m honouring the season I’m in: one of creation, introspection, and nurturing the life and relationships I’ve already built. It feels right to pour my energy into the family and creative projects that bring me so much joy and fulfilment.