I nearly cried today...

When I created an entire blog post and it disappeared. Into the ether, never to be seen again... Today has been the day technology has let me down, not once but 4 times. 

Firstly, I arrived at work and my iPad was dead. I left my laptop at home and I had no way to take my registers or use powerpoint in my classes. Great.

Secondly, my Instagram post failed after I edited each picture perfectly, wrote an amazing detailed review of my lunch food, and included a full set of hashtags (about 30 minutes of my life I will never get back). I really could not bring myself to write it all out again and the second attempt was far lower quality editing with literally 3 words in the description.

Then I lost my phone, I left it- with all of my bank cards and driving licence- in the ladies loos at The Playhouse. It isn't even insured! That wasn't really so much technology failing me, as me failing technology. It led to another 30 minutes of my life spent running around in a mad panic retracing my steps to find it. (I found it again after, phew!)

Finally, I arrived home from work hot and exhausted. I knew I needed to get my daily blog done for today and I had a cracking idea. I got in the zone and I wrote out an entire blog post, with photos, infographics, quotes and research. It took me over 2 hours to get it to the point of publishing and then my MacBook died. 

So this one goes out to you, RIP blog post. You could have been great. You never got the chance to see the light of day, you were dead before you were even posted. Can we all take a moment's silence to respect all the incredible work over the years that have been lost to the failure of technology? 

Blog posts, coursework, novels, dissertations, research, youtube videos, wedding photos, and so much more... All the deleted media, lost, never to be seen, loved or appreciated.

In all seriousness though, having days like today makes me only more certain that everything happens for a reason. Something I believe, because I choose to give reason to everything, to look for patterns and make sense of my somewhat chaotic existence. 

It is in the times when you are most angry, or most sad, or most in pain or most disappointed that you are also given the greatest opportunity for growth, should you choose to take it. 

Yes, today was frustrating, but I may have ended up with an article that I like better from it. And I still have the previous idea for another time. I also got to see how I deal with anger and frustration and recognise how far I've come. 

I used to be an angry person a lot of the time. Past-Rosie often would react quickly to negative events and let them overwhelm me. I didn't really know how to manage my emotions. Over the years I have practised yoga and mindfulness for long enough that I know how to calm myself down, with breathing and focusing on watching my thoughts (knowing I am not my thoughts, I am merely the observer).

I ultimately chose to see the loss of the blog as a positive, and therefore it is. Because the only meaning anything really has is the meaning you allow it to have. 

You can choose to believe the world is a positive place, where you are presented with opportunities for growth, or you can choose to see the world as negative and always against you even with the same things that happen. 

If you are hurting right now or feeling angry, know that it will pass. No matter how low you are, or how much it hurts (probably quite a lot more than a deleted blog) please know that you have the choice; to let this get the better of you, or to choose to see it as an opportunity for growth.

Sharing my love and light with you always.

Rosie x