How Spiritual ‘Pick-Me’ Energy Keeps You From Oneness

The Desire to Be Special: How It Blocks Our Connection to the Extraordinary

In the world of spirituality and self-development, there’s a common yearning to be special, to possess gifts or traits that set us apart. You hear phrases like “I’m an empath,” “I’m a channel,” or even “I’m a starseed” — identities claimed as badges of uniqueness, as if they make us more attuned to divine energy than others. But what if this very desire to feel special is the very thing that blinds us to the extraordinary connection we already possess?

The Trap of Spiritual “Pick-Me” Energy

Spiritual “pick-me” energy is that subtle (or not-so-subtle) need to prove your spiritual worth by identifying as someone with unique, cosmic origins or gifts. It’s the feeling of needing to say:

 • “I’m a Pleiadian starseed.”

 • “I was Cleopatra in a past life.”

 • “I’m a rare kind of empath.”

These labels can feel empowering at first. They give us a sense of importance, of being chosen. But in clinging to these identities, we risk creating walls that separate us from others. We fall into the illusion that we are special while others are less special. Instead of expanding our connection to the universe, we narrow it, limiting ourselves to a small, isolated sense of self.

The Universal Nature of These Gifts

Let’s take a step back. What does it mean to be an empath? Empathy is a fundamental human trait. If you can feel for others, if you’re capable of understanding someone else’s experience, you’re empathetic. The idea that only a few people are “true empaths” sets up a hierarchy where there shouldn’t be one.

And what about identifying as a starseed or claiming a past-life identity as someone historically significant? These narratives can offer comfort or meaning, but when they’re used to elevate ourselves above others, we drift away from the core of spirituality — which is connection, oneness, and the dissolving of the ego.

We Are All Channels

Similarly, the idea of “being a channel” often carries a sense of mystical exclusivity. To say, “I am a channel for divine energy” suggests a distinction — that some of us are connected to source energy while others are not. But isn’t creativity, insight, and inspiration something we all experience? Aren’t we all capable of tapping into that boundless flow of energy that animates life? When you lose yourself in the act of creating art, when you’re in a state of flow, when you experience sudden insight — you are channeling. This isn’t a gift reserved for a select few; it’s a capacity we all share.

At its core, channeling is simply the act of being in alignment with the creative energy that permeates all things. Source energy — the force that birthed the universe, the essence that flows through nature, art, and connection — is available to everyone. We are all channels when we surrender to this flow, when we allow ourselves to be vessels for creativity, love, or insight.

When we cling to the identity of “being a channel” as something that makes us special, we inadvertently restrict our own potential. We separate ourselves from others and from the expansive, interconnected oneness that defines true creative flow.

The Poison of Individualism

This desire to be special, to be “more” than others, is a subtle form of individualism. It creates hierarchies where none exist. It suggests that some people are closer to the divine or more attuned to human connection than others. But the creative source does not operate this way. It flows through everyone and everything equally, waiting for us to recognise it, to tap into it, to remember that we are part of it.

When we identify too rigidly with labels like empath or channel, we miss the bigger picture: that we are all extraordinary in our capacity for connection and creativity. We are all part of the great web of life, each of us equally capable of accessing empathy, intuition, and inspiration. The desire to be uniquely special is, in fact, what holds us back from fully seeing how profoundly special we already are — not because we are different from others, but because we are connected to them.

How “Specialness” Limits Your True Connection

By over-identifying with these spiritual labels, we create subtle forms of disconnection. We inadvertently send the message that our worth comes from how different we are, rather than from our intrinsic connection to all life. We start seeing our gifts as exclusive, rather than expansive.

This desire to feel uniquely special can:

 • Block Flow States: Creativity thrives on openness and surrender. When we cling to identity, we can’t fully let go into the flow of source energy.

 • Limit Empathy: If we believe we’re a special kind of empath, we may unconsciously create distance between ourselves and others, rather than fostering deeper compassion.

 • Encourage Spiritual Bypassing: The need to feel spiritually superior can be a way to avoid confronting our insecurities or doing the deeper, humbling work of self-awareness.

Reclaiming Our Power Through Oneness

True power, true creativity, and true connection arise when we let go of the need to be special and instead recognise our shared capacity for extraordinary experiences. When we stop comparing and start acknowledging that empathy and creativity are birthrights, not privileges, we step into a deeper relationship with ourselves, others, and the world.

We reclaim our power when we acknowledge that we are all channels, all empaths, all interconnected. In that space, we honour the creative source energy that flows through everyone, dissolving the boundaries that keep us feeling separate or superior.

You are already special — not because you are different, but because you are part of the infinite, interconnected flow of life. And so is everyone else. Embrace that, and you unlock a world where your gifts are not rare exceptions, but reflections of a shared human potential waiting to be expressed.

What Lies Beneath the Desire to Feel Special?

At the core of our desire to feel special lies something profound: the longing to be seen, to be validated, to know that we matter. This desire, in its purest form, is not inherently harmful. It comes from a deep human need to feel connected, to contribute meaningfully to the world, to express our gifts fully. But when this desire becomes entangled with the need to be better than others, it disconnects us from the very thing we’re seeking — true connection, flow, and oneness with the creative force of the universe.

So how do we meet these longings in ways that empower us rather than isolate us? How do we cultivate a life where we feel deeply connected, creative, and fulfilled without falling into the trap of spiritual individualism or “pick-me” energy?

1. Cultivate Radical Self-Acceptance

The path to oneness begins with radical self-acceptance. When you recognise that you are already worthy, already enough, the need to prove your specialness fades. Instead of grasping for validation, you can rest in the knowing that you are an essential thread in the fabric of existence.

 • Practice: Spend time each day affirming your worth not for what you do, but for who you are. Reflect on how your presence, as it is, contributes to the world. Recognise that simply by being here, you are part of something vast and extraordinary.

2. Deepen Your Connection to Source Energy

When we feel separate, the ego rushes in to compensate. By intentionally deepening your connection to Source — the creative energy that flows through all things — you tap into a wellspring of inspiration and belonging. This connection doesn’t make you special; it reminds you that you are part of something infinite.

 • Practice: Meditate on the interconnectedness of all things. Visualise the energy of the universe flowing through you, just as it flows through the trees, the oceans, the stars. Let this practice dissolve any sense of isolation or superiority.

3. Embrace Humility as a Gateway to Flow

Humility is not self-denial; it is the recognition that we are conduits for something greater. When you surrender the need to be the source of your gifts and instead see yourself as a vessel, you open yourself to deeper flow states, intuitive insights, and creative breakthroughs.

 • Practice: Before any creative act — whether writing, painting, or speaking — take a moment to invite the universe to co-create with you. Acknowledge that the art flows through you, not from you. This simple shift invites a state of openness and reverence.

4. Serve Something Greater Than Yourself

When you align your work with a mission beyond personal recognition, the desire to feel special transforms into the drive to contribute. Ask yourself: How can my gifts serve the collective? How can I honour the creative force of the universe through my work?

 • Practice: Identify a cause or purpose that lights you up and align your creative energy toward it. This shifts the focus from being special to being of service, amplifying your sense of fulfilment and connection. 

5. Allow Empathy to Expand Beyond Identity

Instead of being an empath, practice embodying empathy. Let empathy flow naturally, not as a badge of honour, but as a way of being in right relationship with others. When empathy is unencumbered by identity, it deepens, becoming a channel for understanding and healing.

 • Practice: Listen deeply to others without labelling yourself as an empath. Focus on the shared human experience. Ask: What is this person teaching me about connection, compassion, and the human condition?

6. Release Spiritual Bypassing and Comparisons

Spiritual bypassing — using spiritual concepts to avoid facing our insecurities — often leads to the need to prove we are more evolved or more connected than others. By letting go of comparisons, you step into true authenticity and integrity.

 • Practice: Notice when you’re tempted to compare your gifts or spiritual experiences with others. Instead, return to the question: Am I living in alignment with my truth? Am I growing in integrity, compassion, and authenticity?

Walking the Wisdom Path: Toward True Oneness

When you release the need to be special, you step onto the wisdom path with clarity and power. This path is not about standing out; it’s about standing within — within the flow of the universe, within the web of life, within your own authentic essence. It is a path of deepening connection, where:

 • Your empathy becomes a bridge to others, not a pedestal.

 • Your creativity flows without egoic interference.

 • Your intuitive gifts are tools for service, not superiority.

 • Your sense of self is vast, unbounded by identity labels.

By surrendering the need to be special, you discover the profound truth: you are not separate from the creative force — you are it, expressed uniquely yet inseparably from all that is.

In this state of oneness, everything deepens. Empathy becomes limitless. Creativity becomes effortless. Intuition becomes clearer. And the need to prove yourself dissipates, leaving only the joy of being fully, authentically alive. 

May you walk this path with humility, openness, and a reverence for the extraordinary connection that is your birthright.

In creativity and connection,

Rosie