Be Kind to Yourself

Self-compassion is simply giving the same kindness to ourselves that we would give to others.
— Christopher Germer, The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion

Some days you have nothing to write, or you are too tired to write and that's ok too. Be kind to yourself. When you do things that make you feel cross with yourself like dropping your phone, or skipping the gym, how do you talk to yourself about it? Do you tell yourself you're "stupid" or "lazy", or do you accept the action and be kind to yourself about it?

I think we can all be guilty of being more critical of ourselves than we would ever be of anyone else. Internalising someone who tells you that you are "fucking stupid" when you drop your phone only serves to make you miserable. We have the amazing ability to change the way we think and speak to ourselves. We can choose to be kind and have self-compassion, or we can choose to allow whatever mean or angry thought pops into our head to make us miserable.

Being human is not about being any one particular way; it is about being as life creates you—with your own particular strengths and weaknesses, gifts and challenges, quirks and oddities.
— Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: Stop Beating Yourself Up and Leave Insecurity Behind

Having self-compassion is something I put a lot of work into over the past year and a half. Being more gentle in the way I speak to myself, being kinder and softer when I screw up. This sounds easy enough on paper, but changing the way you speak to yourself and the lifetime of habits take a lot of work. 

I started by not saying cruel things to myself when I look into the mirror that I wouldn't say to someone else. If a negative thought popped into my head, I would think to myself, "don't listen to her, you look great, and you radiate positive energy." 

Your thoughts are not necessarily the truth. 

Feeling compassion for ourselves in no way releases us from responsibility for our actions. Rather, it releases us from the self-hatred that prevents us from responding to our life with clarity and balance.
— Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance